hijab

i lived in Saudi Arabia with my extended family. i walked into a room and discovered one of my 14 year old distant cousins finishing the rape of my 6 year old niece. my niece was so injured that she had gone into shock. there was blood mixed with semen pooling between her legs. i fell upon the boy and shoved him away with all my might. he landed on the floor with a hard thump but did not really seem to take note of it. i kept saying what have you done? he looked at me with his dark green eyes and said he didn't know what i was talking about. his expression was without remorse. his conviction (repeated many times over the next several weeks) was that because the opportunity had presented itself he had done nothing wrong. someone should have been watching the girl. over the course of the next few weeks i fought bitterly with my family on behalf of my young niece and threatened to go to the authorities. everyone begged me not to go as it would be a serious mark against the girl and an unwanted amount of attention on the boy. i was trapped in a family, in a culture, in a country that did not recognize the inherent right of women to their own safety and i lived with a mute jagged rage inside of me.

after many weeks, the fathers of both children were ready to allow me to know the terms of their negotiations. both the niece and i would be given a sum of money (less than $2000 USD) in exchange for continued silence about the incident (as it was now referred to). there would be no sanctions against the boy as they assured me his heart was full of remorse and he was too young to have such a serious allegation hanging over his head. both men suggested that all the females of the family be watched more carefully and start wearing hijab from infancy in order to prevent anything like this happening again. i felt like i was on fire. i stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind me. i came face to face with the boy. he was smiling and said to me, 'this is your fault'. i demanded he explain himself. 'if you had just kept your mouth shut, everything would have been fine. you're getting your money, so this better be the last word i hear from you.' i saw in his eyes that he was thinking of me dead.