Wednesday, January 21, 2015

hummingbird egg


i was frying a hummingbird egg in a 1 inch perfectly seasoned cast iron pan. i checked my tiny oven when i smelled the 1/2 inch slices of bread begin to brown. i quickly turned over the hummingbird egg (almost broke the yolk) and then picked up a miniature silver butter knife and deftly scraped each toasted surface of bread with a veil of hand-churned, fresh butter. i lifted the egg from the pan with an impossibly tiny spatula and laid it over my toast. i looked out my balcony windows when i heard the marching band hit a series of sour notes. i wondered why i didn't feel enthusiastic about going to the game. i also wondered why my swiss boarding school colors were red and white instead of blue and white. i saw old naked john striding across the grassy commons and let out an involuntary sigh of annoyance. he was painted in cracked tempura painted from head to toe; bright red from his testicles down to his tattered saucony runners and bright white from his penis into his curly severely receded hairline. i could tell even from my vantage point that his eyeglasses were covered in paint. everyone knew old naked john was harmless, but truly, i was sick of him. it didn't matter to me that he always had a smile on his face, i was looking forward to never having to avert my eyes from his deflated ass and wrinkly man-parts again. i was ready to be finished with school and start my life.

3 Comments:

At January 26, 2015 at 11:12 AM , Blogger Greenpa said...

I have actually cooked and eaten a robin's egg. :-)
I didn't steal it; it was abandoned on the grass. That happens with multiple bird species; if their nest is not "ready", or was predated yesterday; they may not be able to turn the process off; so they just lay them on the ground and fly away.

About an 1/8th of a mouthful. Tasted like egg.

 
At February 2, 2015 at 9:27 AM , Blogger shandra beri said...

'Tasted like egg.'

Ah yes, you sing the song of my people. :)

 
At February 2, 2015 at 6:20 PM , Blogger Greenpa said...

:-)
I sing the body Egg Yolk
Not white but blinding yellow
Food
For neurons
Bones
And feathers.

 

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