Wednesday, November 19, 2014

flour mill



my work would keep me in stockholm for the next 7 months. i sent word ahead that my only requirements for a living space were that it be immaculately clean, totally quiet and within walking distance of the studio. a flurry of worried emails littered my inbox regarding the impossibility of fulfilling my request since all the best hotels were on the opposite end of the city. my terse response was a copy/paste of the original post. i subsequently automatically deleted any emails regarding the subject as i was too busy to give it any more thought.

3 weeks later when i arrived in stockholm i was met by a small dark man in an ill-fitting black suit and a chauffeur cap holding up a placard with my misspelled name. he loaded my bag and we traveled in silence as i concerned myself with answering all the emails that had piled up since i'd stepped onto the plane. as the car rolled to a stop in front of the studio, i knit my brows and tilted my head as a question. 'you're over there across the street on the top floor. they found you a spot in the graduate student housing.', he answered directly. i gave him a tip, thanked him, extended the handle on my bag and rolled it behind me toward what looked like an abandoned flour mill. as i passed through the glass doors into the cavernous space, i became aware of the sound my leather soles made on the worn, silky smooth cement floor. sssss-clip, sssss-clip. it made my ears feel relaxed and i let my eyes wander over the beautiful decay left by the flour industry. giant stainless steel vats, the still rollers of gravity conveyer belts winding through the space like a massive sleeping python and the walls of small paned windows three stories high flooding the details of the factory with golden hour light. by the time i'd closed myself into the freight elevator, i felt myself smiling.

when i stepped out onto the top floor, i saw a row of louvered doors. here and there they would open or shut as some preoccupied grad student shuffled through. 'perfect,' i thought,' everyone is as busy as me.' i walked down the row until i found my room. a bed, a closet, small desk, sink to brush my teeth and a key to my personal toilet/shower directly across the hall.

i unpacked my things and headed over to the studio.


15 Comments:

At November 19, 2014 at 5:54 PM , Blogger Greenpa said...

Ok, see, I just don't think most people have a detailed vision of an abandoned facility in Stockholm floating about in their heads to use as dream fodder. :-) Or factories in China. How did all this stuff get IN there, so it could come out?

 
At November 19, 2014 at 7:09 PM , Blogger shandra beri said...

right? wtf?! no clue (i don't even own a television).

i do know i feel significantly less bitter about wasting time sleeping since i've been recording my dreams though.

:)

 
At November 20, 2014 at 12:51 AM , Blogger shandra beri said...

since it's after midnight and i'm not close to sleep, here's an added bit; my dreams have been vivid from my earliest memory. from 1st to 3rd grade i often dreamed i was driving the family car for one reason or another and would often have to remind the adults in the dream that i was too short to reach the pedals as i gripped the wheel and steered us along the street. i have not had reoccurring dreams since that time (hence my certainty that the starring role of the young teacher would be a one time appearance)

the first truly cinematic dream (i remember) came to me around the age of 10. i was a pubescent african boy traveling with my father and uncles by canoe on a river lined with tall golden reeds. we were headed to a gathering and subsequent ceremony that would usher all the boys my age into manhood. i remember very clearly looking down at my long dark legs and arms and thinking that i must be a very tall boy. i remember reaching up to feel my hair and i could tell from the texture it looked the same as my father and uncles. in the dream there was an imperative to reach the gathering early, but my uncle and one of the boys had some difficulty with their canoe and my father and i stayed with them until we could all travel together. i remember my father was proud that my concern was for those i cared about. he rubbed my head and told me i was a man before the ceremony began. i remember thinking it was an easy rite of passage.

i lived in the heart of lily white minnesota at the time, so it really felt like some kind of portal had opened.

 
At November 20, 2014 at 1:17 PM , Blogger Greenpa said...

Wow. :-) Seriously! You need to work on finding an editor who could knock all this material into a book of some kind. You'll get rich! Tentative title "Shocking Roars" - or something. :-)

 
At November 20, 2014 at 1:38 PM , Blogger shandra beri said...

...or something!

:)

 
At November 20, 2014 at 6:23 PM , Blogger Greenpa said...

I won't insult you by asking if you noticed my little word play there....

Oh, what the hell. Did you notice my little word play there? :-)

 
At November 21, 2014 at 7:04 AM , Blogger Greenpa said...

Because, see: I know your brain is weirdly wired; so is mine; just trying to figure. Most folks I know would not see/get the word play; but mine does the switch/mix/max/sideways thing with everything I see, automatically. Yours might too?

 
At November 21, 2014 at 7:30 AM , Blogger shandra beri said...

to quote a friend, 'p-chuu (hand zooming over head...)'.

sometimes yes and sometimes no, i am the girl in the room who will always be able to marry disparate objects (think unicorns, bricks, the atomic number 94 and basil) but sometimes the obvious can slip right by.

rain man much? :)

let me in on it, i give up.

 
At November 23, 2014 at 4:43 PM , Blogger Greenpa said...

lol. Shocking Roars. Roar Shocks Rorschach. All this vast and intriguing detail- upon which millions of people could project their own enlightening imaginings........ weirder stuff has been published!

 
At November 24, 2014 at 7:40 AM , Blogger shandra beri said...

oh yeah, i never would have made that association! you should go on will shortz puzzle master quiz segment- you would win a button (the highest prize available since it's public radio).

:)

 
At November 24, 2014 at 12:52 PM , Blogger Greenpa said...

:-) Ah, well, it's not an entirely reliable talent...rapid, but rather random.

 
At November 24, 2014 at 9:45 PM , Blogger shandra beri said...

'it's not an entirely reliable talent...rapid, but rather random'

you have just described the body of my life's work.

sigh...

 
At November 26, 2014 at 10:42 AM , Blogger Greenpa said...

:-/

Maybe this is the spot to tell you why I dug you out of the ether.

I like the movie, Roxanne; have watched it multiple times; will again. My truly favorite part is the unconnected schtick where Steve Martin puts the newspaper back. He does it very well. I SO want to do that myself, on a crowded street, someday. :-)

But; in all honesty, nobody in that movie is really "acting" or being an "actor"; they're mostly "celebrities in a movie", or caricatures. Except you.

You stand out- by not standing out, which is a shame in some ways. You so really truly ARE your character, that it's just automatically accepted. True to life. I was feeling a little more analytical the last time I watched, and it hit me- wait a minute; she's NOT this ditz; she's acting; and the best actor in the movie, by far. Has to be very smart and very skillful. What the hell happened to her? I don't recall seeing her in later movies, and I think I'd remember.

So I dug; on the internet. Took a while, and multiple search patterns! I'm not really asking "why"; I'm well aware there are 1,000 possibilities for that; and Hollywood is a horrific meat grinder.

So anyway- that bit of your life's work was very, very, VERY well done. And will be there to see forever. I would bet good money that you will be more recognized for your skill in the future than right now; Martin overwhelms as a personality at the moment, but that usually fades, and excellence stands out.

And for those with eyes to see- your competence is clear. I wouldn't have guessed your brain, dreams, interests, and education would be so far ranging. :-)

So - think of it as "wide ranging"; rather than random...

 
At November 26, 2014 at 12:44 PM , Blogger shandra beri said...

What a very nice thing you have written for me to read.

Thank you, Greenpa, you made my day!

:)

 
At November 26, 2014 at 5:11 PM , Blogger Greenpa said...

:-) And entirely true, too.

 

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