tiny bells

we weren’t done. the unspoken words between us nearly falling from both of our lips. i kept letting my eyes find the ground because this is how it’s always been with us- there simply was no more time. there would never be time. for us these finite moments strung together were all we would ever be. as always, his domestic obligations tugged and picked at the delicate lace of our embezzled emotions. as he started to explain it for the millionth time, i noticed the afternoon sun had drawn a golden nimbus around nearly everything and just like that, my heartache was holding hands with beauty. 'it's fine' i said as i touched his lips with my fingertips to stop his words. 'it's not fine ' he answered and caught my wrist moving my hand behind my back, pulling me hard into his belly. our impending kiss was floating between us like a glass orb. neither of us moved to shatter the sacred space connecting our eyes, our hearts, our desires. my lips fell apart as though i was about to say something- something difficult, something urgent- but the time, always the time declaring itself. i inhaled deeply in a failed attempt to break his spell. i worried aloud that i’d lost my keys. he picked up my hand and opened my trembling fingers to show me that i held them. we walked to my car without talking, without touching- our emotions raw and forever unfinished. the beautiful light of the afternoon sun shined right through the thinnest fig leaf that was the truth of us. 

high above, the distant laughter of his daughter and her friends rang like tiny bells in my ears.