i just wasn't ready. i hadn't combed my hair, put on make-up or remembered to wear my pants. i kept running all over the place trying to do my job and just ignore the fact that i was a hot mess, but everyone kept saying, 'shandra, what happened this morning?'. i decided to go sneak off and find a mirror to try and put myself together and when i finally saw my reflection, it was more horrifying than i could have imagined. i looked like i had been drugged and spent the weekend sleeping it off under a bridge somewhere near the mexican border. my hair was plastered to my head in some strange helmet-like fashion and my eyes looked like tiny hamster eyes- and of course, i still didn't have any pants. i untangled my hair with my fingers the best i could, washed my face with icy cold water and miraculously found some old mc hammer pants wadded up in a corner that i slipped on. i returned to the main area and just kept my head down. rosemary said, 'glad i remember to wear
my pants!'
2 Comments:
lol. Just to terrify you further; I've actually been present when this HAPPENED. In high school- I was part of a community theater production of Inherit the Wind (my last attempt at acting) - and at the dress rehearsal, the very nice British wife of the local college English professor, who was working on props- bustled into the backstage, took off her overcoat- and discovered she had, indeed, forgotten her dress- she was in bra and slip- only - "embarrassed" is a wild understatement. Traumatized, more like. Humans. Poor thing.
actually, on some level it's kind of a relief to know this happens in real life and is not just some strange collective shared subconscious first world fear. my friend has an aunt who started wearing her girdle and bra on the outside of her clothing pre-Madonna. that was the litmus they used to send her to the funny farm. i thought i was safe from this behavior save the onset of dementia (then of course i wouldn't care...). now that i read your post, i know i must remain diligent;
car keys? check.
purse? check.
water bottle? check.
pants? check and check again...
:)
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