for whatever it's worth

he came up from behind and leaned down pressing his mouth close to my ear, 'what's really going on here, shandra?. i smiled without turning my head toward him but not moving away either, 'i'm not sure, what do you think it is?', i said as he breathed into my neck. i could hear his smile in the way he formed his words. 'lady, you are terrible...', he said playfully. 'well, it's a terrible world. i'm purely a reflection of my environment.' i volleyed back. just then david passed us and started an animated and enthusiastic greeting. my flame walked from behind me and put himself between david and i as though he wasn't there. david shrugged and walked away into the crowd. he was facing me now and i remember thinking that his eyes were beautiful and reflected his intelligence. 'what are we going to do about this?' his voice was soft and intimate. i looked up at him and pressed my body closer. i wanted to feel him nearer still. his eyes narrowed and i felt his breath grow shallow. i wanted so much to kiss him but i did not. 'in truth, you're not really available for this are you, darling?' i said gently. he looked at me for a long while and i could see he was trying to know the true answer before he spoke. with a rueful edge he admitted, 'no, you're right. i am not.' 'well then,' i whispered, 'that is what is going on...'. i looked up at him again and smiled. he put his hands on my arms and squeezed tightly as he let out an exasperated sigh. 'for whatever it's worth,' i said, 'i feel the same.' i moved away from him and slipped into the tangle of party goers. i could feel his eyes follow me.