tom cruise

tom cruise was sad. his marriage to nicole had broken up and he had gone on date after disastrous date until he had given up. he wasn't weird or strange or angry or brainwashed by a cult like he seems to be in real life. he was a mega movie star with some social difficulties who had his affairs managed entirely by a group of slithering sycophants who called themselves 'scientologists'. day after day tom would try to forget how hard it was for him to talk to people (female people...) and he would make awkward attempts to interact with women he came across. none of it turned out well. some recognized him and were bitter that he had only asked them for a coffee, some didn't recognize him and just thought he was some short guy in a japanese motorcycle jacket who paid too much attention to his hair and was trying to pick up on them. some were enthusiastic but for all the wrong reasons. tom walked everywhere by himself and cut a lonely figure. finally his chef, trainer and personal assistant (all women, none part of the scientologists) came up with a plan to hold 'auditions' for toms next girlfriend. at first when they told tom, he was against it, he seemed embarrassed and tried to leave the room. the women blocked the door until they could convince him otherwise. little by little, tom started to see the light. soon he was grinning ear to ear and saying things like, 'of course! it makes perfect sense!'. the women smiled and readied themselves for the meeting with the sycophants. had tom gone to see them by himself, he would have soon been talked out of the idea, but the women surrounded him and hit the scientologists with both barrels until they only had the choice to agree.

when the auditions began, they looked from the outside like regular afternoon coffee dates, short walk to the shop, chat, drink, short walk back. the difference though was that because it was an 'audition', tom did not feel awkward. he was funny and relaxed and totally did not take it personally if it all went south (which it often did...). as an actor, tom understood that he was looking for the 'fairy dust factor'... the 'sparkle'. when katie showed up, she wasn't really dressed for anything but coffee. she was smiley and fun the minute she walked in the door. on the way to the shop, she saw a girl who was wearing two different shoes and ran ahead to tell her how adorable it was. the conversation flowed, there was a fair amount of laughter, tom was charmed. he made a second date.

the women had given tom the 411 on katie before he saw her again- and it was all good. she was liked by most people in her life and she had acted, so she knew about that life. when they met the next time, tom told her everything so she would have the chance to back out before it went any further. katie just laughed and said she had put a poster on her wall as a little girl and told everyone that she was going to marry tom cruise, so there!

they fell in love and live happily ever after for 6 whole years. the end.