mariel hemmingway

i was excited to be going and it was fun that the whole house was packing up but i was worried about my grandmother. she kept saying 'go, go', but i could tell she was just being brave. i was organizing my possessions trying to figure out what to take and what went into storage and i remember feeling surprised that i had so many vintage hand blown glass pieces. they were so beautiful all sitting on the table and the hardwood floor. the light shining through them from the window made a pool of light that was so liquid i wanted to lose myself in it. i kept thinking about africa and how i had always talked about the day i would go with longing and awe, but now with my grandmother so old and the house i grew up in so familiar and beautiful, i was rethinking my plan. i knew i would not see my home or treasured things for a couple of years, but i was worried i would never see my grandmother again.

as if she was reading my mind, i felt her cool, soft hand on my shoulder. 'my darling, this is a wonderful thing and you need to do it.' as she spoke, she pressed into my hand a note of passwords wrapped around a safety deposit box key. 'i have enough money for the trip' i said as i tried to push the bundle back into her hand. 'no, this is for you... for always.' i understood then that she was giving me my inheritance and i started to cry. 'don't be sad, she said. am i in your heart?' 'always.' i said through my tears. 'then that is the important part of the story. go to africa and see everything we've talked about. i want to see it again through your eyes when you write to me. now pack. this will all be here when you get back.' i nodded and hugged her with all my might.

as i ran down the hall, i saw a tall homeless woman. it was mariel hemmingway. her skin was brown and thick, cracked from the sun. her hair was thin and the color of straw, there were dirt and twigs entangled in it as though she had been sleeping on the ground. 'what do you need?' i asked. she began to undress in answer to my question. i need these washed she said as she kicked her clothing toward me. i saw that she had strange 'undergarments'. a collection of carefully knotted once white pieces of muslin that were now stained with urine and old blood. i took up the bundle and led her to the bath. i ran the water, gave her soap and shampoo, made a quick check that there was nothing she could hurt herself with and went to tell my siblings.

as her clothes washed and mariel soaked in the bath, my brothers and sisters bubbled with the news of her arrival and had decided that she would be the perfect person to stay with grandmother in our absence. i protested but they shouted me down and told me i was selfish. i watched as they got mariel out of the bath, dressed her in a clean cotton gown and put her in bed next to my grandmother. 'see?' they said 'it's perfect '. my grandmother was quiet. mariel was grinning but it was more like the grimace of a chimpanzee who has been 'taught' to smile. in her eyes i could see a deep madness.

i stopped packing, finished washing mariel's clothing, fed her, redressed her and sent her and my siblings on their way.