patrick stewart

i'd been dating patrick stewart for years. he was so smart and we shared the same sense of irony and humor. we laughed all the time, loved the same books and films, had learned to tango and had a great sex life. we were best friends and we had both decided just to be together forever. for years we had worked on the same show, but the last season patrick had not been his usual self. he was distracted and self absorbed. it seemed he had forgotten who i was to him. after being brushed off more than once when i tried to speak to him about it, i'd decided to pull back, give us both some space and take my hiatus without him. i went to italy and had some dolce vita to the 10th power. by the time the show was ready to start again i felt refreshed, happy and eager to see patrick and set things right. my 1st day back on the set, the DP grabbed my arm as i walked onto the stage and circle walked me back outside. it was funny and cute so i played along, but his expression was serious. he took both my shoulders in his hands and turned me squarely to him. 'shandra,' he said, ' patrick married the red haired day player while we were on hiatus.' 'the stupid one with red hair that always holds her eyes open too wide?' i asked. 'yes, the stupid one with red hair that always holds her eyes open too wide.' he answered. i was stunned. worse was that she was actually THERE. patrick came running up to me saying i'm sorry, i'm sorry.... i made a terrible mistake! please forgive me! i stammered and tried to answer but i just started to cry. patrick held me and whispered ' i'm sorry...' into my hair. i looked at him and said, 'i just don't....why?' he said he had no idea, but that he had obviously gone briefly insane. i asked if he was still married and he affirmed that he was. 'why? i stammered again. 'i can't bring myself to tell her it's over, plus now she has a speaking part.' he said. i felt like the room was spinning. i kept saying, 'nothing is really making sense to me...'. he said, 'i know, i know. but please tell me you'll take me back!'. 'what? patrick, i can understand losing your mind for awhile, but i can't ignore that you are MARRIED to the weird day player who holds her eyes open too wide, now has a speaking part and is standing behind the boom dolly right now staring daggers into me'.

i spent the rest of the day being comforted by the crew, pursued by a repentant patrick and stalked by the the stupid red haired day player who always holds her eyes open too wide.