Tuesday, July 22, 2014

the girl


i was young and optimistic. i had not yet been hurt by anything too deeply and so i still had the ability to trust and believe. my colleague had, months earlier been to this very place to interview this very girl with no success. she had not just been frozen out, but very quickly felt herself in danger and left (she was sure) with barely her life.

i followed the girl through her world- a labyrinth of poverty in the shape of an endless succession of ramshackle rooms thrown together from other peoples garbage. there were holes to step over, large pieces of rotten plywood to lift, filthy, rotting curtains to brush through. all the while i followed her, she kept laughing and looking back at me over her shoulder to see if i was still keeping pace. 'when can we talk?' i asked her after many minutes had gone by and i was hopelessly lost. 'when we get to the roof, silly!', she answered playfully. i wondered if she was leading me to doom or really taking us to a place she would feel comfortable opening up. we finally reached a room with a tube of sunlight describing itself from the ceiling to the floor in the thick atmosphere of dust motes. she squeezed herself with difficulty behind a thing that looked somewhat like a ladder and started to climb. my claustrophobia clutched and scraped at the inside of my chest. 'i can't follow you that way.' i said offering no other explanation. she stopped and put a little mischievous grin on her mouth, 'i was just kiddin', you can do it this way.'. she then very easily crawled up the front. i felt rattled now. she had tried to scare me and that left me with worry.

when we reached the roof, a wave of relief washed over me. she said many times that she liked me and that i was not like 'the other one'. as i interviewed her i began to lose my objectivity. her words were interlaced with so much hatred for things that were not of her world that i found myself growing angry. soon i was on my feet challenging her every small-minded notion. my voice was growing louder but i had no sense of it because of the injustice i felt in my heart.

i took a breath and saw the anger in her eyes. it was then i remembered where i was and that i had no idea how to get out.

3 Comments:

At July 24, 2014 at 12:13 PM , Blogger Greenpa said...

Lots of contagious conversation topics these days; dangerous.

This, on the other hand, " a tube of sunlight describing itself " is lovely.

 
At July 24, 2014 at 12:14 PM , Blogger Greenpa said...

Incidentally, your verification process now makes me click through a dumb add, before I can actually verify...

 
At July 24, 2014 at 9:11 PM , Blogger shandra beri said...

oh, i love that image too! i was surprised when it came out! :)

re; the ad- how very interesting since i have never agreed to monetize my blog...

 

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