bill&amy

bill was funny, smart, 5'3", a billionaire and complained to me constantly that he couldn't find a woman he was compatible with who didn't just want him for his money.

amy was tall, blond, willowy, mobbed by men like an ovum surrounded by sperm and completely sick of it. she just wanted one man who wanted her for her and would be true.

i introduced bill to amy. the chemistry between them looked like little charms being thrown into the air. they had two magical dates, one of which was in period costume. amy looked like a proper lady and when she opened her door to bill, even though he looked entirely like a leprechaun- she was smitten. they laughed and laughed. i thought, 'they see each other'.

one afternoon amy surprised bill by leaving a silly note and some flowers on his doorstep. the door opened violently and revealed bill's angry wife and behind her, a house full of sullen, spoiled teenage children. walking by in his boxers in the deep background was bill with a paper tucked under his arm just coming out of the loo. accusations, denials, and a tearful, heartbroken amy resulted.

i later told bill he was an idiot and that he should keep his fantasy lonely life to himself.